Wednesday, July 13, 2005

An Immodest Proposal

Some of us miss the cultural traditions of the Old West. Many were rooted in day to day issues and answers. Certainly, one of the best was shared by many...spending some of your spare time as a vigilante. There are leftovers from the practice. You can carry a gun without a license as long as it isn’t concealed. You can make a citizen’s arrest where you hold a criminal until the police arrive for the real thing.

We should introduce a competition among the sportsmen (sportswomen, too) of Santa Fe to see who can shoot the most taggers. Next time you’re sitting around on a Saturday night with nothing to do. Only WWF reruns on television. Get your gun and stake out a neighborhood wall.

This shouldn’t be unsporting. Night vision goggles or starlight gunsights won’t be allowed. Practitioners of the asshole art of grafitti should have a fair chance to escape to be a target some other night. Proposed regulations would limit firearms to .22 caliber. Discussion continues about holding this down to shorts versus longs; but, a year or so of trial runs should take care of technical questions.

Rather than the traditional practice of stuffing and displaying mounts of dead game, since the goal isn’t to eliminate our quarry; but, change their ways...ER records from St. Victims could be used to verify reported hits. Trophies would be awarded, paid for by licensing fees to the City.

If all goes according to schedule, we could have a genuine Old West Revival on our hands. Maybe even think about invitational events for tourists.


At 4:09 PM, Blogger Der Tommissar said...

You mean we can't do this the way things stand today?

Uhh...I was home all last Tuesday night.

At 1:39 PM, Blogger David Lopez said...

I think it is just wrong to shoot somebody just for tagging. At least with bullets. Paintguns, using bank robber red dye would be better. Be careful to see where the tagger goes after they are hit. You use this information for this:

After you hit a tagger, be sure to rob a bank. Call 911 and tell the police that you saw someone covered in red dye going into so and so house. You just happened to be on scene to find the money bag. In order to not be idenified as the robber, be sure to wear your Fat Bill body suit and mask. Be sure to "find" this suit along with the money.


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