How much does the cocksucker weigh anyway?

I asked Thomas what he thought of Governor Richardson?
“That cocksucker, fuck him! Years ago when Richardson was a Congressman I tried to find out any information about who my father was, he died in Viet Nam. I knew his Army Company; where and when he was stationed but I didn’t have his name. I didn’t who he was. I wrote Richardson six letters. It’s weird I just found them the other day. He said ‘If you had his social security number…’ if I had his social security number I wouldn’t need you, you fat fuck”
Shell interrupted “That’s not their job.”
“Sure it is.” I said.

The Great One, as he is called in the halls of the Round House, is hard to get to.
One of the journeyman reporters told me “Don’t screw around up there, he has a lot of State Police hanging out, who have no sense of humor.” Jesus, all I wanted to do is find out how much our Governor weighed.

El Patron pays other people to have a sense of humor for him. When Fat Bill had to roast that Arab-hating shmuck Lieberman, Fat Bill had to pay political hacks to come up with good lines. Governor Chicaron had to make fun of Lieberman for not really being a Democrat that’s like the pot calling the kettle schvatz. For Christ sake, Fat Bill is being parodied on Saturday Night Live!

I parked in the Reporter’s parking lot because I love Julia Goldberg. But I also agree with who ever tagged her machines with “mossad.” I think they nailed it. I walked to the plaza and had a hotdog at Charlie’s, also because I love Julia’s kosher ass so much and I think her paper is full of shit.

Frankie had his tour bus parked in front of the bank. He was bitching and moaning about how noisy, smelly, and smokfilled the Plaza was. I fuckin’ laughed when he said they would have to listen to him at City Hall if he went down there to complain. “Being an ex-Councilor,” Frankie said, “they would have to listen to me.” A picture of Frank getting the Charlie Griego bums rush flashed in my brain. I wanted to slap Frankie on the side of the head and say like “I am here to tell you…WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE Larry Delgado.”

Instead I asked, “How’s your new gig? What’s it like there?”
“Convoluted.” Frankie says and I fall over laughing.
‘Convoluted’ what the fuck is a Hispanic politician from Santa Fe using words like convoluted? As if to prove my point Jose Morfin drives by.

Busting his balls I say to Jose “Why won’t the Governor give me a job? And how come I can’t find out where my precinct meeting is? Don’t the Democrat believe in ward meetings anymore?” Jose just ignored me and tried to asked Frankie in Spanish about the School Board job. Frankie answered in English and nodded toward City Hall “It’s easier then over there but the same bull.”

“What’s with the New Mexico Democratic Central Committee doing all the party business in secret?” I ask Jose ““How do I get on?”

Simultaneously both Frankie and Jose say “Call Mimi.”
I wonder if Mimi knows how much Governor Puerco weighs in metric tons?

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All the stories, quotes and people are all local, real and accurate. Santa Fe is really a small town with a big reputation. Politics is the sport of choice. The tri-cultural (Spanish, Indian and Anglo) is truly a myth.


Originally this post contain a story of when I went to Governor Richardson Office at the Capitol Building to try and find out what the Governor's real weight was. I gave a description of going to the reception and asking if the was any place to find "biographical or personal information about the Governor?" The receptionist was relative rude and rapidly spurted out some web site name that I was suppose to copy down. I asked to repeat it and she got even most curt. I described the obliviously distracted undercover State cops who where jawing and flirting with some other well dresses babe State workers. I remember thinking of fictional story lines and dramatic twists if this was a screenplay or piece of fiction.

So 'to get even', when I wrote this post I described the pushy receptionist as looking and sounding like a "transvestite." Well fuck; you would think I had broken some unwritten rule about. In fact the New Mexican's reported at the capitol, Steve Terrell, pulled me aside and said, "you can't do that." And because I had written about another reporter ("one of the journeyman reporters") Terrell felt it necessary to put a disclaiming statement in his blog about how it wasn't he who had talked to me about the State police protection for Governor Richardson.

After Terrell talked to me I deleted most of the comments. And I'm sorry to say it was before I started to save writings in Word files. Two days into blogging and I've already attracted some serious attention.