Monday, December 12, 2005

Bourbon Balls at City Hall

One thing you can say about Councilor Heldmeyer is ... she's got balls.

Going into City Hall frequently, I get to know some of the employees working there. I wander the halls like a ghost, ending up in some meeting, induction or just a going away party, like yesterday, for the departing City Attorney Bruce Thompson. Bruce is heading back to Albuquerque to work for the big City down there where he lives. Most of the Santa Fe City workers don't live in Santa Fe, even the ones that can afford to, don't.

The ladies in the office welcomed me into the Attorney's conference room that had a table full of goodies. Great smell of coffee from the corner and a smile on everyone's face. I wondered, why are people so happy when they leave the City's employ?

Speaking of leaving, Police Chief Bev Lennen and her daughter came in. The Chief is not only leaving Santa Fe but she's getting completely out of the Fat Bill State.

Councilor David Coss and Councilor Heldmeyer came in at about the same time. She placed a tray of ball shaped cookies on the table of sweets. Apparently these 'Bourbon Balls" are a specialty of Councilor "Heidi" Heldmeyer. At 11 am, one of those suckers gave me a buzz and glued my bottom to the chair I was sitting in for about 15 minutes. I do remember the lady at the end of the table frozen with her eyebrows raised in amazement after one bite, and the guy from Parking, holding half a ball in his hand, saying, "I'm glad I don't have to drive."

Several people suggested the coffee but chose to stand and walk around. I walked toward the City Attorney, gave him a hug; then I said, with an exaggerated drunken slur in my voice, "This is the best time I have ever had at City Hall."
Everyone laughed as the staff member with the unusual first name, Mark Anthony, came in with Assistant City Attorney Spence Pacheco.
Having seen me three times in two days, Mark Anthony tried to rib me with, "I see you around here a lot."
"Get used to it, I'm going to be Mayor," I shot back. Everyone laughed again.
Showing the attorney in her, Spence grabbed her head with two hands and moaned, "Oh, the lawsuits."
Coss had to admit, as a candidate for the office himself, that there was a frightening chance that I could be Mayor, or as David put it ... I could be "the next Chief Officer for the City of Santa Fe."

I smiled thinking about my encounter with Fred Libby on the way over to City Hall that morning. He was having his picture taken in front of his and Patty's Plaza Bakery/Haagen Das. As I walked by Fred and the photographer, he asked me, "How's the campaign coming?"
I said, knowing I could get a laugh, "Hey Fred, I've been practicing my acceptance speech. You know how you gather up all the City Hall employees together... you want to hear my speech to them?"
Fred smiles and nods yes. The camera clicks a couple of times.
"OK Fred," I start, then I get a little louder, "YOU FUCKING GUYS ARE IN TROUBLE NOW!"
Fred totally cracks up and the camera fires away like an automatic weapon.


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