Friday, May 20, 2005

Art: Grabbing Your Nuts As Political Dialogue.

There’s a direct line from conceptual art to grabbing my nuts at a City Council meeting. If feminism brought about environmental art, dialoguing with institutions is the next modern art wave.

We live in politics just like we live in air. It envelops us like environment.
How does one talk to an institution?
You can sue them but that’s not very artistic.

I think about this stuff eating huevos rancheros at the Plaza Restaurant looking out to the postage stamp size park that is the heart of Santa Fe. The Catherdral and the Catholic Church thinks they are the heart of community and even put up garish signs proclaiming it. City Hall thinks it’s not only the heart of Santa Fe but the entire obese body.

Talking with Fat Bill’s transvestite looking receptionist is not a dialogue with the State of New Mexico. If I want to communicate with the City of Santa Fe, you just can’t talk with people no matter if they’re staff of elected officials.

I have tried for seven years to get an appointment with our Mayor Larry del Jello. I am trying to solve a dangerous problem concerning an un-dedicated trail and asshole yuppie dog-walkers who invade my life daily. I have during those seven years pleaded my case with the Governing Body from the “Petitions from the Floor” segment of the City Council meeting.

About twice a month, citizens of our Capital city are allowed to speak for two minutes in front of the Council, on TV, oh yah… live. The reciting of memorized “poetry” to dumbfounded City leaders has become my forte. Frank Zappa and Jerry Garcia mixed in nicely with Robert Frost and Ogden Nash as applied to politics. Who said, “Everything is relevant if you’re a writer”?

As slopped up the last of my eggs with the tortilla I could see Cliff Mills setting up his Plaza vending table. I’ll go see him. He does petitions himself.

“Hey Governor.” I call Cliff Governor sometimes because of the fact his family owns the now worthless founding bonds for the State of New Mexico. But that’s another story.

“Do you know KSFR is using your last performance as a promo for them covering the Council?” Cliff beams.
“No. They didn’t ask me.” I respond.

Both Cliff and his friend laughed being hip to art, the media and Santa Fe politics. The ‘political performance’ in question was my adaptation of Mick Jager /Kieth Richard’s She So Cold. Right in the middle of the song lyrics poetry political performance, where the Stones say “Put your hand on the heat, put your hand on the heat” I grab my stones.

A gasp comes from the audience. Because of placement of the podium and the TV camera, the Mayor and City Staff may have been the only people in the room who didn’t to see my Michael Jackson imitation. As I finish in a crescendo of “I’M THE FREAKIN’ VOLCANNNOOOO” Mayor del Jello calmly interject “You made your point. Your time is up. Thank you John.”

I actually didn’t make my point until the radio station KSFR used my words as a promo. When dialoguing with institutions… Rule One: It doesn’t happen without the media.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The Perfect Circle-Jerk and Mayor del Jello

Jose drove off. Frank Montano and I talked for a while on the Plaza. When Frankie first got elected to the Council, he did it on a shoestring. He lost a bid at Mayor because the money people thought of him as a lightweight from the barrio. He also had not worked for the State like our current Mayor Larry del Jello did.

According to myth, Santa Fe has only one escalator. But there are sure a lot of revolving doors.

With a wrinkled brow, Frankie asked, “Who can we support for Mayor? From the choices we have now, Fran looks the best.”

My fuckin’ mouth dropped. I thought of going into my ‘man-hating gun-toting witch’ rap but I just said, “She’s corrupt!”
“So what? A little corruption…” Frank’s voice and smile trailed off into assholehood.
Without explanation I said “They’re setting up Coss for the Job.”

Frankie’s face went blank. The tell.

I had blogged weeks ago when our vacant Mayor went missing in Qatar, and Coss was appointed acting Mayor, you better be nice to David because from where I was sitting…the fix was in.

The fourth floor of the State Capitol Building houses the office of the Governor of New Mexico. I take my hat off when I go in. Not because the receptionist looks like a very hot transvestite but because I want the two Denko guys not to notice me. One of the suited cops was on the plush couch to the right, talking on a cell phone. He couldn’t care less about me and the other cop was busy in the hall with an elderly Hispanic couple.

“Can I help you?” the big titted receptionist asked, she then interrupted herself saying, “just a second.” She went back to her conversation on the phone. “…remember I work for the government, …Government rate.” She was obviously booking her vacation to Vegas, and I don’t mean Las Vegas, New Mexico because that’s where she probably was from.

While I waited, again trying not to be noticed, I was forced to look at the bad art in the Governor’s Gallery. Who ever picked this art probably made people call him Doctor. “Yes, Doctor. No, Doctor. Doctor of art?” I hoped I wasn’t talking out loud.

“Yes, can I help you?” , the receptionist asked.
“Do you have any biographical information about the Governor?”, I asked respectfully.
“Go online… bla bla bla dot bla.”
The wanna-be secretary scribbled Fat Bill’s web site down on the back of her card. I looked at the State Cops and said to myself, “I’m out of here.”

P.S. May 18, 2005. Lead on-line story in the New Mexican…”Coss To Run For Mayor.” And by the way, he works for the State. Frankie thinks I’m psychic.


This is the post where I had call the receptionist a 'tansvestite." Frankie become the first of some reoccuring character. As a former Councilor, former candidate for Mayor and member of the School Board his is well placed and connected. Fran was the former Municipal Judge and ex-wife of Cecil the cop, who is the beat officer for the Plaza. The Mayor at that time was Larry Delgado who I tagged as Mayor del Jello.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

How much does the cocksucker weigh anyway?

I asked Thomas what he thought of Governor Richardson?
“That cocksucker, fuck him! Years ago when Richardson was a Congressman I tried to find out any information about who my father was, he died in Viet Nam. I knew his Army Company; where and when he was stationed but I didn’t have his name. I didn’t who he was. I wrote Richardson six letters. It’s weird I just found them the other day. He said ‘If you had his social security number…’ if I had his social security number I wouldn’t need you, you fat fuck”
Shell interrupted “That’s not their job.”
“Sure it is.” I said.

The Great One, as he is called in the halls of the Round House, is hard to get to.
One of the journeyman reporters told me “Don’t screw around up there, he has a lot of State Police hanging out, who have no sense of humor.” Jesus, all I wanted to do is find out how much our Governor weighed.

El Patron pays other people to have a sense of humor for him. When Fat Bill had to roast that Arab-hating shmuck Lieberman, Fat Bill had to pay political hacks to come up with good lines. Governor Chicaron had to make fun of Lieberman for not really being a Democrat that’s like the pot calling the kettle schvatz. For Christ sake, Fat Bill is being parodied on Saturday Night Live!

I parked in the Reporter’s parking lot because I love Julia Goldberg. But I also agree with who ever tagged her machines with “mossad.” I think they nailed it. I walked to the plaza and had a hotdog at Charlie’s, also because I love Julia’s kosher ass so much and I think her paper is full of shit.

Frankie had his tour bus parked in front of the bank. He was bitching and moaning about how noisy, smelly, and smokfilled the Plaza was. I fuckin’ laughed when he said they would have to listen to him at City Hall if he went down there to complain. “Being an ex-Councilor,” Frankie said, “they would have to listen to me.” A picture of Frank getting the Charlie Griego bums rush flashed in my brain. I wanted to slap Frankie on the side of the head and say like “I am here to tell you…WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE Larry Delgado.”

Instead I asked, “How’s your new gig? What’s it like there?”
“Convoluted.” Frankie says and I fall over laughing.
‘Convoluted’ what the fuck is a Hispanic politician from Santa Fe using words like convoluted? As if to prove my point Jose Morfin drives by.

Busting his balls I say to Jose “Why won’t the Governor give me a job? And how come I can’t find out where my precinct meeting is? Don’t the Democrat believe in ward meetings anymore?” Jose just ignored me and tried to asked Frankie in Spanish about the School Board job. Frankie answered in English and nodded toward City Hall “It’s easier then over there but the same bull.”

“What’s with the New Mexico Democratic Central Committee doing all the party business in secret?” I ask Jose ““How do I get on?”

Simultaneously both Frankie and Jose say “Call Mimi.”
I wonder if Mimi knows how much Governor Puerco weighs in metric tons?


All the stories, quotes and people are all local, real and accurate. Santa Fe is really a small town with a big reputation. Politics is the sport of choice. The tri-cultural (Spanish, Indian and Anglo) is truly a myth.

Originally this post contain a story of when I went to Governor Richardson Office at the Capitol Building to try and find out what the Governor's real weight was. I gave a description of going to the reception and asking if the was any place to find "biographical or personal information about the Governor?" The receptionist was relative rude and rapidly spurted out some web site name that I was suppose to copy down. I asked to repeat it and she got even most curt. I described the obliviously distracted undercover State cops who where jawing and flirting with some other well dresses babe State workers. I remember thinking of fictional story lines and dramatic twists if this was a screenplay or piece of fiction.

So 'to get even', when I wrote this post I described the pushy receptionist as looking and sounding like a "transvestite." Well fuck; you would think I had broken some unwritten rule about. In fact the New Mexican's reported at the capitol, Steve Terrell, pulled me aside and said, "you can't do that." And because I had written about another reporter ("one of the journeyman reporters") Terrell felt it necessary to put a disclaiming statement in his blog about how it wasn't he who had talked to me about the State police protection for Governor Richardson.

After Terrell talked to me I deleted most of the comments. And I'm sorry to say it was before I started to save writings in Word files. Two days into blogging and I've already attracted some serious attention.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Virgin Post

Fat Bill and Me: a story of one Democrat.

It’s all about what you can’t say.

When you talk to them, always start with an insult. Then lie. Then swear.

Bill Richardson better known as Governor Crisco (fat in the can) is being paid by the CIA to sell out the Democratic Party. The Big Large or just Large Lard, as we call him in Santa Fe, likes to smoke cigars and politically suck Korean dick. Him and that fucker Kerry threw the election with a promise never to mention Abu Ghraib, ever.

With all the talk about Fat Bill’s national ambitions and dinners with the likes of Val Kilmer I put Governor Doughnut’s autograph on ebay. I asked $3.00. No one bid on it.

Governor Largo Lardo is a racist. He wants to pick a point in past time and give public lands to the then self-proclaimed chosen race. His supposed race.

Where the fuck did he come from always? He’s like some other politicians I know; he appears to be a better program than person. I remember him as a self-proclaimed ‘Fighter for New Mexico.’ As a U.S. Representative he would have Town Hall meetings where the now deceased Richard “The Dressman” threw money at him or the cash onto the floor. The cross-dressing poet thought that was what Fat Bill was all about.

*Post Script: I am starting for the begining of this blog and I am reviewing; debriefing; giving notes to myself; and filling in the story. I am also looking for the whys of this blog.

I started with the clear intention of trying to get Richardson's attention and to push the envelope of free speech. I had no internet experience. I had been politically active for years and started with a focus on specific and real local Santa Fe names and events. I was looking for 'Hot Button' issues and star power.

I also had no yet learned to post pictures.